Conversing with a Gay
by RideTheGlitterDick
Summary: October twentieth we wore purple to show our support and love for the G.B.L.T. community. It was also the day that Bella Swan had her first conversation with a gay. OOC


**Hey everyone, another story from Glitter. Actually this is just a one-shot. Um, its taken me awhile to write this out because I literally **_**did**_** write this out on paper (if you remember, my laptop's broken and this computer is stupid and ancient). Now I just have to type it out. I've been busy, school and **_**a lot**_** of Internet shopping; I'm actually about to dish out over $200 so…**

**Please don't read if the G.B.L.T. community offends you. I wrote this because it was 'Purple Day' a days, maybe weeks ago, and I've gotten into many fights with people over gays. Basically, I've never been able to explain how I feel about gays, so Bella in this story is almost me. **_**Almost.**_** Most of what Bella thinks or says is exactly what I feel. Bella POV only.**

**See you at the bottom for a little more explanation. **

I was counting down the minutes until science ended, but the clock wasn't moving fast. The long, thin black hand slowly ticked, second by second, though they seemed like milliseconds. If it would just move through a half an hour…

"Bella? Care to share your answer?"

I froze for a second. "Uh, can you repeat the question?" I asked hesitantly. Angela Webber laughed from beside me.

Mr. Varner sighed impatiently and called, "People! Com eon! We have half an hour left of class, I've promised not to give homework in exchange for your undivided attention. Now, may I please have it?" He sighed again. "Bella, what are your thoughts on sexuality?"

"Sexuality?" Right. The topic of health. Behind Mr. Varner, scribbled on the board was the word "sexuality" with "bisexual, gay, transgender, straight" written underneath. "The topic made me blush. I scratched my head. "Uh, sexuality. Well…"

Mr. Varner tapped the board, right under "gay." "Yes, what are you thoughts, please?"

"Okay." I studied the board for a moment, memorizing each letter on the board. "I think gay guys are cute," I admitted awkwardly, ignoring the outright laugher behind me. "I don't think its wrong to love the same sex—"

"Is that from personal experience?" someone asked ignorantly.

"—because that would mean your happy. Does it matter what happens behind closed doors if it doesn't involve you?" I asked rhetorically.

Mr. Varner pursed his lips and stated, "Point."

"However," Jessica Stanley put in, "some people enjoy their threesomes, so someone's sexuality is their business."

Here we go. I turned to her. "Do you have multiple threesomes? So many that you demand to know everyone's sexuality in case you decide you need to sleep with him or her in the future? Or do you go around asking if someone is gay, lesbian, transgender, or bi?" She rolled her eyes. "I thought not."

"Listen, Swan," she snarled, leaning forward on her desk so her shirt pulled down and gave an eye-full of line. "I don't know why you have such a heart for gays, maybe it runs deep, but some of us don't get _wet_ by guys doing it in the ass."

Mr. Varner expressed his outrage for her words and I couldn't agree more. Sexuality…it was harsh in society today. Where gays, lesbians, and transgenders were used for the sole purpose of entertainment and getting off. Either that or it was looked at as a disgrace. Repulsive. Even a taboo! Being an avid Googler, I knew in the recent months over six gay boys had committed suicide due to ridicule, and the number didn't stop there. I bet as I thought it now, one gay is considering or committing suicide. The thought made me sick. Having people on your back nagging you about being born a girl and changing to male, or about your sexual orientation, made me shameful to be human. Shameful to say, "I live with people that tease guys for liking men" or "I got to school with people who think lesbians are only used for getting off." These days I didn't even want to be human.

I fell silent after that, hearing my name being thrown around with "lesbian." If I was a lesbian, I'd be pretty damn proud for being different, special, but sense birth I was programmed into a _straight _sexual orientation. Mr. Varner granted us free "talk time" for the next twenty minutes in light of our heated sexuality conversation. I sat still, silent, turning over thoughts of guys, trans, bi's, and everything said.

People are so hypercritical.

"Bella," Angela whispered, leaning over the isle and plopping a paper on my desk. "Its from the new kid."

My eyebrows pulled together as I unfolded the paper, Angela's attention divided. Elegantly scribbled, it said:

_Can we talk?_

_-Edward Cullen _

I glanced behind me but he wasn't looking; he was fidgeting.

Edward moved here to Forks not two weeks ago, with his parents and older brother, Emmett Cullen. Emmett was all big and scary, so no one messed with the new kids, although it seemed Edward could take care of himself. He seemed boyish, but manly, with wild golden hair and amazing green eyes. Edward was cute, adorable, and maybe borderline sexy, which made me wonder why no girl had already snatched him up. I stood up slowly, nervously shoving my hands in my pockets; nervousness of talking to boys.

He didn't look up when I grabbed an abandoned chair and sat down near him. We were alone in the corner, as everyone had gravitated to one side of the room in a clump of laughter.

I took a deep breath. "Bella Swan," I said, holding out my hand, shooting for confidence.

Edward looked up and smiled, taking my hand. His was super soft. "Edward Cullen."

"Nice to meet you," I said, still smiling. When he returned the comment, it left me with an open end to the conversation. I thought back to the note on my desk. "Uh, you wanted to talk, didn't you?"

He glanced down, looking embarrassed as he leaned forward from the slouch. "I don't know how to sugar-coat things at all, but I just wanted to talk to you about what you said during class. The whole sexuality ordeal, I mean. Was it…was it true?" he asked curiously.

I bit my lip. Edward called me back to talk about…sexuality? "Um…yes," I mumbled, crossing my arms uncomfortably.

"That's really how you look at gays?" He seemed almost gleeful.

I really hoped he wasn't a gay-hater-and-lesbian-lover.

"Yes. Gays, lesbians, bisexuals, transgenders…everything."

Edward looked at me appraisingly, a small smirk on his lips. His lips looked…well, completely suckable. "That's very amazing, Bella. I don't think I've ever met anyone so open about sexuality."

My eyes widened. "Oh no, I'm not—"

He interrupted me with a laugh. "No I didn't mean it like that. I just meant that you seem very welcoming to that group."

I shrugged. "I guess I am. I just have this appreciation for people who can be themselves and look past the hate and ridicule. Its…so amazing."

"It is. But sometimes people who aren't straight are frightened to be themselves and reveal their sexual orientation," Edward contradicted. "People are harsh, some people cannot take it."

This boy…the way he spoke…it was so weird. Something was in those and I wanted to know what. "Why did you want to talk about sexual orientation?" I finally asked.

Edward leaned back and said, "I guess I though you're an open and forgiving person."

"Open…about what…?"

"I'm gay."

My first reaction was to laugh, but then I remembered how bad that would look to him and on my character. Instead, I really looked at him. He looked more man that boy up close, getting past his adorable baby face, though that was what he looked like at the same time: babyish. Only cute, not drop-dead sexy. That should have been a clue, but I think it just confused me, really. "Your gay…"I repeated quietly, on assumption he wanted to keep it on the DL. Now the word sounded weird. "Why did you tell me?"

Edward shrugged, relaxed more so now. I guess he was tense from apprehension. "Its just my luck that we spend an hour and a half talking about sexuality and hearing comments about gays. But that you said, Bella, it was very…open. Really, um, kind of moving." His eyes slid down from mine and if I hadn't known he was gay, I would have thought he was checking me out. "Do you know what today is, Bella?"

"October twentieth?" Somehow I knew that was wrong.

"Its Nation Gay Day, or 'Purple Day.' Your wearing purple," he smirked, nodding toward the – sure enough – purple T-shirt I'd worn under my black sweater.

"Oh," I breathed. "I had no idea." There was something special about wearing a color to show support for gays and transgenders. A simple color could speak thousands of words but only one kind of support. I didn't grown up around gays or anything, but I'd always had this weird appreciation for them and the love they have for the same sex. On many occasions I'd tried to put it into words in front of my mirror, my feelings about gays, but I could never find the right words. There weren't even enough words in the book to describe it.

"Yeah, most people don't," he agreed, not ruffled in the slightest. "It gets out on Facebook and some other socials networks, but it's not a big deal."

I wanted to contradict this but I didn't know how without possible seeming hostile. "Another thought struck me, one more intense than the last I'd had. "Uh, can I ask you something? I'm just really curious," I added quickly.

Edward smirked with a bit of a teasing look. "I figured you'd have questions. The way you spoke about gays, and not just how open you were, I could hear the curiosity: you want to know more about us, want to be sucked in." My eyes widened at the words. "Once again, not like that," he laughed, holding his stomach.

Was I was really _that_ humorous?

A scowl slipped onto my face. "Okay. What's it like to be gay?"

"What's it like to be straight?"

"Funny," I huffed. "Now answer my question."

His face turned placid, folding his hands, eyes trained on his lap. He seemed…disappointed? "There you go, thinking 'gay' is a choice. Transsexual is a choice, gay, lesbian is not."

"But sometimes a man is trapped in a women's body and they want to feel whole inside out. Transsexual is not a choice."

"Insightful," he allowed past stiff lips. "However, there isn't some 'feeling' of being gay. I thought of all people you would think gays are just like everyone else." An eyebrow rose.

I drew a deep breath. "I do think gays are just like everyone else but us on a whole other level. The love they have for the same sex…I think it's amazing, impeccable too. They're so different in one special, intimate way, and more than seventy-five percent care about the intimacy of their sex lives. Gays are interesting, but that doesn't mean their a science experiment." I paused, wearily looking for anyone listening in on us.

Edward smirked. "Gays aren't interesting, Bella. Girls always think we want to go shopping with them, talk about boys and periods, and every guys thinks we'll just fall in love with them like that." He snapped his fingers in my face.

"That must be hard," I mused.

He shrugged. "Its not enjoyable, not boring. Some people can get very defensive over it though," he said. "Most people are hating on us though, so it makes life difficult. I'm not too good with taking criticism either, so that's not really helpful."

"Do people make fun of you?"

He looked at me like I was crazy. "Yes. I left my old school because of it." Edward said it so flawlessly, you would have thought he told me the grass is green or the sky is blue.

My chest did this horrible tightening thing in response to the words. Just the thought, knowledge, that people did in fact torment gays was degrading to myself for no reason. "What did they do?" I asked quietly, scared for the answer.

Edward sighed but it wasn't with reluctance. "I was teased a lot, comments and everything; people write 'fagot' and 'homo' on my locker. I was actually beat up a lot too. I've been in the hospital before too. I didn't even have any friends, just my brother, because no one wanted anything to do with the gay boy and his brother. Finally, my parents just wanted me to have a fresh start so we moved to an area where we knew no one, and they don't want me to say anything." Edward looked at me pleadingly. "I'm not going to be something I'm not, but I just don't want—"

I interrupted. "I won't tell a soul, I promise. But that's absolutely horrible. I can't even imagine…"

"I've been held at knife-point. Gun-point."

"Oh my fu…Jesus, Edward," I breathed. "This is…unfathomable, for Christ's sake. How do you…how do you keep going after all that?"

"Support," Edward said simply, shrugging like what he said totally did not contradict with his pervious words. "The support I have from people is the first thing I look to – I feed off it. My parent and my brother are my biggest supporters – and the odd supporter for gays is a big shot of power. Knowing I'm not hated by the entire world for my sexuality us something I really hold close, I guess."

I felt a slight smile on my face. He is so sensitive. "Have you every thought about committing suicide?"

A hand rubbed the back of his neck guilty, and that was all the answer I needed. "I think ninety-seven percent of gays actually consider it, and about twenty percent actually carry it out. I've already decided to never kill myself but that doesn't mean I haven't thought about it. I don't want the haters to get what they want – the death of gays."

"And that wouldn't happen. Just because there aren't any more gays doesn't mean there are no bisexuals," I added carefully. "I bet there are more bisexuals or gays than this school is aware of." I immediately looked over at Dalen Miller, a cute guy in three of my class. He stood with The Group, and I'd always wondered about his sexuality. In fact, there were quite a few people I wondered about and some I was nearly positive about. This gothic girl gave off a bit of a 'lesbian' vibe. A few guys seemed a little too friendly to others. Like I said, hunches.

Maybe Edward would find his "other half" here.

"You know," Edward said sullenly, "the worst part is how much it hurts. I have barely been able to go a day without having to cry at least once. Its not just the physical pain either – its also the emotional. I don't know which is worse, though, but I think it's the emotional. Emotional sticks with you, and I'll never forget what people have said to me." He focused on me. "My old school was kind of Catholic – once a month we would go to service. I sat far away and alone, as usual. But the Priest, he brought special attention to me, said he would heal me of this awful sin.

"It makes me feel like there's actually something wrong with me, but there isn't. I'm just normal, right? I don't get why this kind of thing matters and I hate when people target me for it. The amount of times I've cried in the past six years is inhuman."

All I could do was stare at him in complete shock. I felt a heat behind my eyes and registered that urge to cry. The harassment made me sick. The emotional slaps Edward and every other G.B.L.T. had to endure was pitiful.

Instead, all I could say was: "Its Wednesday and my dad has to work a night shift. Why don't you come over to watch _America's Next Top Model_ with me?"

The cold, gray mask he's worn before slowly vanished into a full grin. A small laugh escaped. "I think Anne will win," he said evenly, maybe even a little bring-it-on-ish.

"Give me a break," I snorted. "Kayla has it in the bag!"

His eyebrow rose. "Your rooting for the lesbian model?"

I smiled widely. "Of course."

G.B.L.T. = Gay, Bisexual, Lesbian, Transgender

**So that was my little one-shot, I may do another chapter, depending on responses. Um, okay, I think I just want to say this because of how much controversy I've heard over G.B.L.T's: Everyone is beautiful, everyone is unique. I have so much appreciation for that whole community, and I hope you all got that and understood it from what Bella said. As Bella said, I've never been able to find the words to describe my feelings, but let me tell you – THEY'RE ALL POSITIVE!**

**I had to end it with ANTM because the 20****th**** was a Wednesday, if I remember correctly and I j'adore Anne and Kayla. **

**When you REVIEW I want to hear you thoughts on G.B.L.T. community, what you've heard and seen and so on. If you are apart of this community, I would LOVE to hear from you!**

**I hope you guys enjoyed it, I've worked super hard, and… I don't know. Everyone is just amazing in every way and this community is fuckawesome, we should all love and adore them for who they are, not for their orientation. **

**Love Glitter 3**


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